People who share the ESFJ personality type are, for lack of a better word, popular – which makes sense, given that it is also a very common personality type, making up twelve percent of the total population. In high school, ESFJs are the cheerleaders and the quarterbacks, setting the tone, taking the spotlight and leading their team forward to victory and fame. Later in life, ESFJs continue to enjoy supporting their friends and loved ones, organizing social gatherings and doing their best to make sure everyone is happy.

[ESFJ personality] Supportive and outgoing, ESFJs can always be spotted at a party – they’re the ones finding time to chat and laugh with everyone! But their devotion goes further than just breezing through for the sake of social maintenance. ESFJs truly enjoy hearing about their friends’ relationships and activities, remembering little details and always standing ready to talk things out with warmth and sensitivity. If something isn’t going right, or there’s tension in the room, ESFJs will be the ones to pick up on it and to try to restore harmony and stability to the group.

At their hearts, ESFJs are social creatures, and thrive on staying up to date with what their friends are doing, rather talking about abstract theories or debating correlation vs. causation. ESFJs are more concerned with fashion and their appearance, their social status and the standings of other people. Practical matters and gossip are their bread and butter, but they do their best to use their powers for good.

ESFJs are natural altruists, and they take seriously their responsibility to help and to do the right thing. Unlike their Diplomat (NF) relatives however, ESFJs will base their moral compass on established traditions and laws, upholding authority and rules, rather than drawing their morality from philosophy or mysticism. It’s important for ESFJs to remember though, that people come from many backgrounds and perspectives, and what may seem right to them isn’t necessarily an absolute truth.

ESFJs love to be of service, enjoying any role that allows them to participate in a meaningful way, so long as they know that they are valued and appreciated. This is especially apparent at home, and ESFJs make loyal and devoted partners and parents. ESFJs respect hierarchy, and do their best to position themselves with some authority, as a parent or as a supervisor, which allows them to keep things clear, stable and organized for everyone.

Being pretty conflict-averse, ESFJs spend a lot of their energy establishing social order, and prefer plans and organized events to open-ended activities or spontaneous meetings. ESFJs put a lot of effort into the activities they’ve arranged, and it can be easy for their feelings to be hurt if someone rejects their idea, or just isn’t interested. Again, it’s important for ESFJs to remember that everyone is coming from a different place, and that someone’s disinterest isn’t a comment about them or the activity they’ve organized – it’s just not their thing.

Coming to terms with their sensitivity is ESFJs’ biggest challenge – people are going to disagree and they’re going to criticize, and while it hurts, it’s just a part of life. The best thing for ESFJs to do is to do what they do best: be a role model, take care of what they have the power to take care of, and enjoy that so many people do appreciate the efforts they make.