When we were children, we were taught repeatedly to be independent and not to cause trouble to others;

When I was studying, I clearly HE Tuber didn’t understand something in class, but I refused to ask the teacher and classmates, so I failed in the final exam;

At work, it would take a few minutes to ask colleagues for help, but it would take several days to work overtime, ultimately delaying the progress of the project.

We all know the importance of asking for help, but why is it so hard to ask for help?

Today's article will help you understand the reasons behind "difficulty asking for help", as well as the necessary thinking and methods on how to get help more easily. I believe that after reading this, you will get rid of some of the stuck points in your heart, and the problem of asking for help can also be solved in a certain way. be resolved to a certain extent.

1. Reasons why you cannot ask for help

When asking for help, we tend to fill in a lot of questions unconsciously.

Is he not free?

Is it inconvenient for him?

Does he find it troublesome...

The more thoughts or speculations swirling in your mind, the harder it will be to ask for help, because you are always overly worried about uncertain things and insecure.

Especially when asking your colleagues or boss for help at work, you are always worried about being scolded by them and saying that you are incompetent.

Maybe someone will tell you that in the workplace, don’t ask questions at all times and don’t think like a student. In order to avoid being scolded, we usually choose to be a silent smart person. So I habitually worked hard and used my own efforts to overcome each time. Then every time I finished it, I couldn't get better results, and instead I was questioned about my lack of collaboration.

One thing we need to understand here is that you want the business to get better and better, and the boss also wants the business to get better and better. You both have the same goal.

When you encounter problems that cannot be solved in your business, or when you cannot coordinate resources, you should ask your boss for help. This is your responsibility and obligation, and your boss also has this responsibility and obligation to help you. Since it helps solve business problems, then this is your need, and your need needs to be met by the boss.

You may also preset many situations, but for you it is nothing more than two outcomes: help or not. But if you don’t express it, the boss won’t know and won’t be able to make a decision. You say what you want, and the boss decides what he wants.

When it comes to seeking help, what we need to do is to separate subjects, that is, the seeker expresses his or her request and the helper makes the decision.

When we have the idea of ​​asking for help, we always feel a humble emotion because of our status as a seeker. When we are in a help-seeking state, we always think that we are inferior to the other person. So we always have to look for some rewards that we can provide to fill this status gap. If we can't find it, we feel we owe someone a favor. This feeling of indebtedness makes us afraid to ask others for help.

Then should we repay others?

I think it's still necessary. But please don’t come with your mouth open, because this will turn the help-seeking relationship into a transactional relationship. The trading relationship is about equality between both parties. Once the return you give is not as good as the help given by the other party, then the transaction will not be established, and no one will make a loss-making transaction.

So what is the best return?

I think it is: you achieved the results you wanted because of the other party's help, and the other party's help played an important role in this.

From the perspective of a helper, when we decide whether to provide help, the first thing we consider is the trust between us, and then we decide whether to help or not based on the emotional bonus. At this time, we are asking for nothing. The psychology of reward.

If you succeed in something because of the help we provide, we are sincerely happy for you.

The best reward is always to be worthy of the other party's efforts and get corresponding results, proving that they have helped the right person. The core is to meet the self-realization needs of these people in Maslow's hierarchy. As for this basis, whether you treat people to dinner or send some gifts, all of this is just the icing on the cake.

People are the sum of social relationships, and society is the field where people live. Good relationships are born out of trouble, and I understand this very well. We are always worried that asking for help will trouble others, cause a burden to others, and eventually lead to the breakdown of relationships.

At a "Master Apprenticeship" event in 2014, I asked my master a question: I have many friends all over the country, but I am not very good at maintaining relationships. Someone answered at that time: We need to send messages frequently, give gifts, etc., and meet often. These answers are actually correct.

But today I actually have a clearer answer, which